Life outside college

For those who don't know, I left Wayne State. It doesn't seem right finishing a degree when I can barely get excited for it. If I stayed through May, I wouldn't have accomplished too much outside lessons. I would like to apologize to those I didn't say goodbye to and then say goodbye. I will be up to visit when I can.

Good luck to everyone with upcoming concerts and juries.
I love you all (no homo).
Mark

My mind

Now my mind feels like it is going a million miles a second and accelerating while floating in space at the same time. There is so much I want to yell and scream through this blog and off the rooftop. I refrain from the blog because I want to keep it clean. If I write, I don't want it to come out as emo poetry or some bull ploppy that sounds stupid.

My thoughts on life

I have something to get off my chest. I do not care about graduating from this college or, more importantly, life anymore. No, that DOES NOT mean that I want to commit suicide. I have just become indifferent to what is out there. I just feel like a ghost floating from place to place. I know I seem very happy when you guys see me, but I don't want you guys to be concerned. Inside, there is the perverbial fox gnawing at me from the inside. You would think that music would help me more with this feeling, but I just can't get excited about it like I used to. I used to look forward to going to any ensemble I am a part of and make music with my friends. Now I feel that I have to go to band or choir because someone forced me to. Music still does move me and I still love to play and sing, to make things clear. I am grateful to my freedom to be in music and make a career out if it, but I am just not happy with it anymore. I guess that I want to be a part of a group. But that group has to work hard with an occasional day of ADD, not the other way around. I want to see a group that shows constant respect to the director and that director to have equal respect for every section. That statement DOES NOT reflect any teacher at WSC. That may not ever happen, but wouldn't be nice?

There might be more to come....

An interesting idea

I wonder if it would work for jazz combo to play some Blood, Sweat and Tears or Chicago songs in the future. Just a thought.

New ensemble?

Does anybody want to try to pull off a low brass quartet with me? It will be two trombones, one euphonium and a tuba. I know it's already past midterms, but I was thinking we won't perform until next semester if everyone involved is still here. Just a thought, it won't kill me if it doesn't happen.

That log

Recently, I have been forgetting to write in that log for practicing. I feel bad for not doing it, but it doesn't mean I haven't been practicing. Oh well, it shows more in playing than it does on paper.

Playing open

The more I practice, the more I play without the wine cork. Last week I realized that all I have to do is think of the ah vowel, like in father, whenever I play.

Playing

I think I play better on my schilke 59 than I do the 58. I talked with Josh during my lesson on Tuesday and he thinks a bigger mouthpiece may be better for me. With a bigger mouthpiece, I will lose some of my high range. Then again, I don't have that great of a high range anyway and I need to work to improve it. Yay for working fundies next week and every week after that for the rest of my playing days!

Practice

This week has been really hard to practice. It's not because of time restrictions or anything, but just being mentally focused and willing to practice. Last week was similar in that regard. Next week will hopefully be an awesome week to practice because spring break is coming up.